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Soon other Dutch traders show up and start a bidding war.

The price of tulips goes up, and up, and up; first dozens of guilders, then hundreds.

Some objections are raised: won’t it deplete the Treasury?

Are we obligated to buy everyone a beautiful flawless bulb, or just the sickliest, grungiest plant that will technically satisfy the requirements of the ritual?

But nowadays they use daffodils to mark engagements, and their economy has never been better. In America, aspiring doctors do four years of undergrad in whatever area they want (I did Philosophy), then four more years of medical school, for a total of eight years post-high school education.

In Ireland, aspiring doctors go straight from high school to medical school and finish after five years. The doctors in both countries are about equally good.

Everyone asks if he is there to buy tulips, and he says no, the Netherlands’ tulip bubble has long since collapsed, and the price is down to a guilder or two.