If you don’t see the signs and recognise the disconnect, use this as a code red to check your own availability.
Bulk of communication by text and email etc – These lazy forms of communication are code amber.
Irresponsible – irresponsible with life in general – bills, rent, job and borrows money off you? Not being good with money and having a weakness for shoes isn’t a code red but not being good with money and gambling it, their house, or whatever away is.
Wants to move in after you’ve known them a wet week? Sleeping With Others – If you’re OK with being part of a casual ‘relationship’, this is code amber as you still need to proceed with caution and ensure your own emotional and physical safety.
If you are unsure of what you’re experiencing, it’s code amber, evaluate the situation, throw some icy water over your feelings and plans, 100% eyes and ears open, and try to have a conversation with them about it.