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It’s five minutes long, and it’s her hysterically crying and laughing at the same time, and it’s so beautiful.Because I know—I mean, I don’t know—but I Her hair is as glossy as a dolphin’s tail.

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It’s not much of a story, actually—more like an anecdote. Imagine your early 20s, trying desperately to shed your old skin, as people in their early 20s do, in order to become a new, more complex and more interesting person.

It’s about one of those nights you have when you’re Selena Gomez, “when you’re around four people and everybody has the champagne glass, and somebody says something and they laugh but they didn’t say a joke.” Fame—a.k.a. A life determined largely by decisions she made when she was a teenager—enormous, consequential choices to first become a child actress, rictus-grinning on (a decision she made circa age 15), and then, finally, to date fellow child star Justin Bieber (a decision she made circa age 18), a seemingly innocent young man who went from fresh-faced You Tube star to heavily tattooed mop-bucket-urinator in the four on-and-off years of their courtship. Some of them are fans from way back, mostly young women. Imagine trying to live down rehab—which she either did or did not go to, more on that later—as well as a debilitating auto-immune disease, lupus, which she was diagnosed with three years ago.

She’s spent the past year and a half being roommates with, for lack of a better word, civilians—Courtney (a non-profit employee! This is a person who lived in a loft in Los Angeles as an aspiring child star—her and her mother, Demi Lovato and her mother, a whole gang of other assorted kids trying to make it, all living together in downtown L. (Ashley, who is older, got her own place in a bid for adult independence.) Meanwhile she talks about fame and her interactions with other famous people in the deeply traumatized way that Marco Rubio will someday describe his year running for president.“It’s either of two extremes,” she says.

“Either you’re going to succumb to it and be surrounded by all the noise and enjoy it and get the rush from it, or you’re going to be so far off of it because you don’t trust anyone or think any of it’s genuine. Talking about movies seems to have the same effect on Selena Gomez as a shot of espresso; she almost starts vibrating.

But here's what we really love about her: She survived the car wreck of child fame—the trolls and the paparazzi, the bad breakups and the exhaustion—and emerged from it, well, more human than ever. All of us here in the celebrity-industrial complex we call America have learned to be especially skeptical of famous people who complain or otherwise seem uncomfortable with their fame, right?

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