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Luckily, there were only two, one of whom knew what I was up to. Choosing the right username was harder than I thought. Would a pic of me on a night out give out the best signals? Then there’s the profile blurb; I went for some vague waffle about my job, books and films, whereas my friend (who joined me in my online dating foray) just listed one-word answers.As I was about to discover when I plunged into the pool of potential paramours, words don’t really matter in the world of online dating.In the beginning, my friend and I were having a rare old time, constantly sending texts back and forth to each other as a whole host of men came our way.

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Bottom line: the menfolk on dating sites appear to be 50% well-meaning guys that are hoping the love of their lives are going to spring, perfectly toned and full of wit, from the loins of their web browsers, and 50% who believe in the mantra “any hole’s a goal”. After skimreading an assortment of websites, I managed to work out the protocol; turn up at venue (more often than not, a bar in Hockley).